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How do you Mend a Broken Heart? 6 Steps
Broken Hearts come and go but I bet you would never believe that when it’s your “1st Love,” “The One,” or “Your Soul Mate.” Healing a Broken Heart may be the hardest thing for someone to comprehend at that moment in time. It means letting go, and that’s a tough thing to do. So how do you heal the pain that comes with a Broken Heart? Below are 6 steps to do just that.
First, an Overview of the Grief and Loss:
It may seem like there is no hope. Yet, in fact there certainly is. When you are faced with a break up, whether it is by you or by the person you loved the most, your heart is broken and at that point in time it seems to you that life has suddenly come to a screeching halt, become miserable, unbearable and not worth living. It is very painful to accept the truth that your partner is no longer with you and the relationship is over.
It’s not good for you to dwell on something like a break up for too long. It is very true that going through this phase is very difficult one. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of that relationship and honor that space of heart ache but don’t give into it. So, maybe a little bit of extra sleep or no sleep at all, maybe too much time on your hands or throwing all your time into your work, stuffing your face with junk food or not eating at all, falling asleep to the TV, numbness or feeling like a zombie may seem relevant or some people may turn to intoxicants just to soothe the pain. Talking to everyone about the break up or loss until you are blue in the face, feeling sad, depressed, lonely, anxious, or crying when something familiar happens that brings back memories. The yearning to spend every waking moment with that person and thinking life is not worth living without them. Everyone experiences different and unique circumstances during this moment in their life. With that being said, it’s not good to dwell on the damage for too long. Honoring this mourning phase will make it easier to get the entire disappointment out of your system. You’ll become uninterested in being so sad all the time and can begin to get over the break up.
Now, it’s time to move forward. So, how do you heal?
6 Steps For Healing A Broken Heart
There are several ways to heal from a broken heart, however, they may not be right for everyone but there are many that you can successfully adopt.
When you are trying to heal your heart it may be difficult to kill the time as your thoughts tend to drift towards your loss. However, over time the pain will subside, but in the meantime staying busy helps to distract your thoughts of your current loss. It takes time to heal a broken heart. Take it one day at a time. Call a friend, talk to a close family member, or go for a walk. Give yourself time to heal, not worrying about your next relationship. Take some “me” time. Go to a spa, get a manicure, enjoy yourself and get out of the house.
2. Stay Busy
When healing broken hearts it is better to engage yourself in some sort of activity or hobby that gives you entertainment and enjoyment. Stay active with friends and social activities. Go to church functions, out to the movies, dinner, shopping,
or a night on the town. Join new social groups and meet new friends.
Stay busy and get out of the house. Find a group, activity, or hobby. Volunteer. Study personal development and move forward mentally and physically so that you can get away from heart broken emotions. Spend some time at the nearest café or coffee shop. Focus on improving yourself and let time do its healing.
3. Take Care of YOU-Physically
Become physically active. Go to the gym, take a cycle class, aerobics class, yoga class, karate class, cross training or weight lifting class, go hiking, biking, join an outdoor adventure group, go camping, go boating, put on some roller blades, play softball, basketball, or volleyball, volunteer to walk dogs at an animal shelter, walk around the Mall, whatever you do, choose something you enjoy and promise yourself to stick to a routine. To maintain this energy level you should also consider eating healthier foods. While you are at it, change your wardrobe. All of this will not only help get you into shape and enhance your physical appearance but it will also help to boost your self-confidence and improve your self-esteem.
Exercise releases endorphins that give you a mood boost. Some people actually look and feel better coming out of a serious relationship. This may give you the edge you need to have hope and move on. Getting physical and having a gym membership for some people can really help make you happy. Meeting a physical goal can also give you another boost in self-esteem and hope for the future.
4. Take Care of YOU-Mentally
If you are feeling lonely and need to talk to someone you should reach out to friends, family, intimate support groups, counselors, or a therapist as you think is necessary to overcome any loneliness associated with being heart broken. You do not want to internalize your emotions or keep them bottled up. You need to express them to help you heal and move forward. Should this be the situation, you may want to think about going to a counselor or therapist. They will allow you to work through the problems which caused your relationship to dissolve or help you get over your heart broken feelings and loss.
Writing is an effective outlet for feelings. Write it out–put it down on paper. Meditate, practice yoga, read, watch or listen to inspirational books, video, or audio or other encouraging material about coming out on top, overcoming adversity, or about being strong. Again you are working on boosting your self confidence and self esteem.
Learn about self-improvement. Take a class. Meditation can be as simple as the relaxation response, relaxing with the eyes closed and repeating the word “One” over and over again. Meditation can also involve visualizing the people that you are greatful for and feeling unconditional love for them.
Crying is good. It’s not always good to dwell on the bad feelings of broken hearts, but some crying is often a great release. All people that go through a breakup need to feel their feelings and let them out, often initially through tears. Again, time heals and after the initial emotional release it can be good to keep busy.
Again, journaling is a great release and resource builder. A person can get a lot out of listing all of the things that they are greatful for and giving themselves an affirmation for the day. Journaling in the morning like this is often very helpful. A person can journal about all of the great things about themselves and keep them handy to remind themselves of what a great person they really are. Again, going to a spa, getting a pedicure or manicure, or pampering oneself can also boost a person’s mood and change a person’s focus for the better.
5. Enjoy Single Life
What most people do not realize is that you really don’t have much time in your life to truly enjoy single life. This is the time you have to selfishly pursue your goals and your dreams. This is typically the time where your true personality shines as you get to be true to yourself, your career and your friends rather than to a relationship. Make the most of this time and you won’t regret it.
Have fun! Try a book club, mini-golfing, bowling, or anything social. You can be happy while you’re single. Make a plan and pursue social goals. Go out with friends when you’re ready, and don’t wait too long. Do something. You may not feel like it at first, but socializing can get you back in the swing of things.
6. Start Dating Again
Staying at home alone and drowning yourself in pity or self loathing is not the answer. Really, what is this going to do for you? You need to meet and interact with new people. These people will provide an invaluable network for you now as well as in the future. Finally, sooner or later, you will need to place yourself back on the market and start dating again. If you don’t know anyone who might be a good prospect go to singles events or try online dating. The advantage of online dating is that you will get to meet others outside of your normal social circle. You may also try meeting new people at public locations while doing or watching sports, shopping, or dining out. By dating others, you will soon find yourself falling for someone else who will preoccupy your thoughts and time.
Having a Broken Heart is a common story, so don’t think there is anything wrong with you. There are millions of people who have suffered from broken hearts and they have moved on with their lives, whether it’s from the perspective of being “the one with the broken heart” or from the perspective of “the one breaking the heart.” No matter how it happens, a break up will always be hard on you as you scramble to get out of a negative mindset so follow the 6 steps above and continue carrying out your self-improvement campaign by motivating and inspiring yourself to be a better person, it will make life a lot easier.
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